Ten Speed Canada
Museum of Bad Art
Many artists suffer for their art.
Now it's your turn.
NAME THAT BAD ART AND WIN!
To celebrate the publication of Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks. Michael Frank (Curator-in-Chief) and Louise Sacco (Permanent Acting Interim Executive Director) of the Museum of Bad Art are excited to offer one lucky person the title of "Official MOBA Guest Interpretator."
To be considered for that honor, examine this anonymously awful painting and submit an inspired title and analysis. As in much art criticism, a suitable air of pomposity and excessive verbiage are to be expected.
The winner will receive:
• The honor of being the "Official MOBA Guest Interpretator"
• A copy of Museum of Bad Art: Masterworks
• The winning title and interpretation will be on display in the gallery for the month of June as well as on museumofbadart.org indefinitely.
Email your title and interpretation to Nameless@museumofbadart.org with Subject line: Name That Bad Art. Entries will be accepted from May 1st to 31st, 2008. The Curator-in-Chief and Permanent Acting Interim Executive Director of MOBA will declare a winner in June 2008.
READ THE CURRENT ENTRIES
Title of Painting: Your soul for a game of chess
Submitted by: Peter
Here we see the forces of life and death playing chess. We don't know what the stakes are, possibly... you? In the end, death always wins: although life is putting up a good fight, we see death having one piece more. (And anyway, he can always use his scythe to clobber life if the need should arise.) Notice the fact that both figures have a lot of similarities, "are the colors of their cloaks actual colors or a matter of perspective?" we can not help asking. The fact that the author cleverly omitted the faces leads us to another of life's questions: which face would be worse, that of death or that of eternal life?
Title of Painting: Chess Match Between Life and Death
Submitted by: Deb
A truly inspiring representation of how fragile life can be, a mere pawn in the eternal chess game between life and death. Will the crumpled figure of the grim reaper prevail this time, or the hopeful and confident force of life? Either way, they acknowledge their fellowship over a friendly game of chess.
Title of Painting: The Agony of Defeat
Submitted by: Elizabeth
Stunned and slumped, the Grim Reaper contemplates his next move. The vibrant blue sky striped with careless contrails and the unusually curved grassy knoll adds levity to the darker mood – this game of park chess is for keeps.
Title of Painting: Passing the Knight
Submitted by: Christopher
It's good vs. evil in this almost epic, but sadly flaccid tale of the grim reaper come to harvest the souls of mankind over a painfully slow game of chess. The previously unknown "white reaper" seems poised to make a move, but with further study neither reaper seem to have moved for some time. Nearby a damaged scythe, leans bent and strained like the artists ability to capture light on cloth. Alas we will never know the outcome of this fierce match, because much like the stumps they rest on, this artist cut short it's development.
Title of Painting: “Tea with the Devil and God”
Submitted by: Donna
When I first looked at it, the first thing that came into my mind was something evil (in Black) and something good (in White). Perhaps they are sitting down over a cup of tea deciding on someone's soul.
Title of Painting: Uninspired
Submitted by: Frances
The grim reaper ponders his next move in the game with the soul opposite. Uninspired though his moves may be, he rests assured he will win eventually.
Title of Painting: Stale Mate
Submitted by: Joanna
The low positioning of the massive simplified forms adds a depressive weight to the two protagonists, despite the clear blue skies behind. Whose move is next? The leaning sickle implies a comment on the illusory nature of temporal existence as a function of our universe, or possibly indicates two second life avatars that are currently 'away'.
Title of Painting: ?
Submitted by: Keith
A sobering establishment of Saruman as the head of the Wizards of Middle Earth. "Sorry, Gandalf, but I'm the boss now." The crushing blow to Gandalf's ego is obviated by sunken shoulders and a hung brow. "And I'm going to want weekly progress reports from you and the other Wizards." In the background, a glacial ice wall elicits a subliminal chill.
Title of Painting: “Got Bobby Fischer; get you too.”
Submitted by: David
The picture depicts a chess match between the dark figure, Death -- note his scythe --, and the light figure, the Spirit of Chess. Death, with the help of Big Blue, has put Spirit in check.
Title of Painting: ?
Submitted by: B.D.
Few pieces speak to the delicate human condition as much as this amazing work. Life, represented by a white shrouded figure, sits upright and intent awaiting Deaths next move. Death in some way looks defeated but ever present and worthy of the close attention it is afforded.
The sickle sits an ominous spectre underlining Deaths malicious intend towards us as pawns in the most significant game of all, our very fate determined with each move.
Moving and significant.
Title of Painting: Eternal Stalemate
Submitted by: Ben
Good and Evil (or Evil and Good from left to right) play their ongoing game of wits. Currently, Good is in the lead due to blue skies and green grass, but it's just a matter of time until the tables turn and the background loses color.
Title of Painting: Stumped!
Submitted by: Alan
Good overcomes Evil. White overcomes black (blue?). Reaper checks out.
Title of Painting: STUMPED
Submitted by: connie41
The endless battle of life and death is depicted here , in this naive work. The artist has evoked a sense of eternity in the sky which echoes the eternal struggle between life and death, good and evil , light and dark. The figures seem to be at a stalemate , but with the hope of the artist's optimism, DEATH has laid down his sickle , albeit precariously. LIFE, the white garbed figure, seems to be somewhat proud to have STUMPED his nemesis , as reflected in his posture. The opponents are each perched on a STUMP as is the eternal chess game, illustrating that DEATH, darkness and evil, will always be STUMPED when it comes to overcoming the unrelenting force of LIFE, light and good.
Title of Painting: “Your Move, Mort”
Submitted by: Neil
On a desolate hillock at the top of world, the age-old forces of life and death ponder their next moves. The tree stumps represent the three dimensions, truncated close to the earth to illustrate the shallowness of our worldly perceptions; the Grim Reaper's scythe—at rest—proves that even Death takes a holiday; and the hooded housecoats worn by the chess tournamenteers depict humanity's loose-fitting mortal coil, soon to be shuffled off as casually as a checkmate.
Title of Painting: The Triumph of Diversity
Submitted by: Joe
Thousands of spectators share the point of view of the artist as they cheer on the finalists of the Taliban Women’s Chess Championship in Kabul, North Dakota.
Title of Painting: Death…What a Rook!
Submitted by: Derek
Title of Painting: The Eighth Seal
Submitted by: Derek
Title of Painting: Death plays Chess
Submitted by: Angela
What we must ask ourselves is: if Death loses do we all live forever or does that just mean Death sucks at Chess?
Title of Painting: Mierda Repel
Submitted by: Gina
Title of Painting: A Bilateral Meeting
Submitted by: Oxana
Title of Painting: Stumped
Submitted by: NETTLEHART
Stumped represents the alternatively simple and complex nature of life and death, of good and evil, of everlasting and transient. The figures hold, in their very austerity, such a myriad of meaning as to hold the viewer enthralled. The simple act of not delineating each nuance adds detail by omission. The viewer is forced to confront the eternal, yet daily, confrontation of life and death. Will the queen's pawn check the king's rook?
Set upon the abbreviated tree trunks - representing nature as opposed to, yet never separated from, the determination and fate of mankind - the forces of life and death are literally stumped. This juxtaposition of man, nature and the divine is brought into clear focus by the use of vague, seemingly childishly simple, subtle and blurred brush strokes, that bespeak true genius of interpretation.
The dark figure is seen slouching, in thought or consternation, while the light figure is seen as upright and tall, evocative the inherent qualities of each. The scythe, while seeming nonchalant in placement, could have been thrown aside in frustration as the match becomes a challenge, or laid aside set near at hand, to be picked up as the game ends. The scythe is also seen with lower additions, which have connotations yet to be explored. Seen as thorns, representing the pain of death, they could also be steps along the shaft for the hand of death. Is this the crutch of death? Are there aspects of death the artist wants the viewer to explore? Again, the interplay of obvious and devious is fascinating.
Eschewing the drama of the old masters, the intentional effrontery of the early to mid 20th century modern art, the populist realism of the 40's through 70's, this portraiture defines a newer, fresher, more intimately bespoken art.
Title of Painting: Chest Set of the Damned
Submitted by: Terri
“Good” meets “Evil” over a heated game of chess in this portrait, which contrasts bright blue sky against the universal juxtaposition of black and white, which appears both on the chessboard and in the apparel choices of the protagonists. The lines in the sky mirror the diagonal path of the Bishop on the chessboard, indicating that a higher being is indeed at work here. The seated figure of Good is serene and well lit, her posture upright and her face hidden demurely. Evil sits slumped, bathed in shadow on this cloudless day, suggesting that Good has just yelled, “checkmate!”
Title of Painting: Final Deciding Factor
Submitted by: Jrexmarda
A life and death struggle, portrayed as a chess game in this piece, is brought forth in grim detail with Death, as the huddled thinker, while bright and tranquil Life assumes the role as patient waiter. Though seemingly backward in its inference, one gains a sense of comfort in that the "deciding factor" is not a coin toss.
Title of Painting: "deadly duel of duality (Jeepers, reapers)"
Submitted by: Bruce
The power of this painting is split between it's puzzling yet peaceful countenance and it's sheer near stupendous "badness". The uncharacteristically pale reaper pondering his next gambit against his darker counterpart brings a delicious tension to what might first appear to be merely an oddly idyllic and leisurely scene.
Considering the paltry number of remaining pieces on the board, one might speculate that the dark reaper is looking dejected perhaps due to an impending checkmate from his much more relaxed pale adversary.
We might further contemplate that with only one scythe, one wonders just what the outcome of the match will determine. Does the winner take up the implement to proceed with the day's deathly assignations? Or does the winner "get the day off"? Or.... is there perhaps much, much more at stake? And whose move is it anyway?
"Check", please....
Title of Painting: Lovely day for a game of chess
Submitted by: Rachel
The artist has created a lovely day for a dance of fate. If you lose, you will die. If you win, you will live forever. Checkmate if you dare....Reminiscent of the "Seventh Seal," only this time, death may not have a chance. Who will win, and who's prize will be worse? Only time will tell.
Title of Painting: 'Death is Bad at Chess.'
Submitted by: Hyacinth
As you can see, two "people" are sitting at a chess board, one robed entirely in black (gray, maybe), the other in white. A scythe is behind the one robed in black/gray (actually, it's beginning to look more blue... maybe a dusky cobalt?). The scythe is a popular symbol for death, although it is actually used in farming. This comes from the idea that death 'reaps' the souls of the living, thus giving way to the name the 'Grim Reaper.' The opposite of death is life, and thus, the person robed in white. The person in white is larger than the person in black/gray/dusky cobalt (from now on referred to as 'Death'), symbolising that there is more to life than there is to death. 'Death' seems to be hunched over, a sign of age or scoliosis. As many people know, one's ability to play chess decreases with age (and maybe scoliosis). Also 'Death's' chess pieces have moved from their side of the board, attacking 'Life's' chess pieces ('Life' if you haven't guessed, is the person robed in white). As many (or some) chess players know, it is always best to keep your ground in chess, and the moment you feel that you must move your whole army to attack, you are losing. Therefore, one may say that 'Death' is either losing, or is just outright bad at chess.
On the whole, the message being communicated is that Death often tries to impede on Life, but standing one's ground and looking Death right back in the 'eyes' (if Death has eyes, I am not too sure as I have never met, or had a staring contest with Death) will bring one sucess in both chess and life.